Opinions on my poem?

It lacks a name right now, but here it is.








The emerald grass


Hangs on the ceiling


I sit with crossed legs


My feet losing feeling


Head tilted back


And thoughts focused up


Change took me by force


So strange and abrupt


I see the same things


I remain the same age


But my clothing is different


And my boots have changed


Crepe paper flowers


Float in the air


Suspended and dizzy


They don't belong there


Unseen and unheard


I slip out the door


To search for the place


I resided before.

Opinions on my poem?
It's very good! Some issues:





There's a few meter problems. You probably know where they are, and it's up to you to resolve them, but here's an example:





Change took me by force





You probably want to emphasize the word "change" here; it's essential, and "took," where the emphasis currently occurs, is not as important.





Also, work on your tense. Make it all present.





LEEEETLE things, though. I like it.
Reply:Brutally honest, eh? Nice poem. Good meter, good sense of rhyme, interesting images, great furtherance of imagination. Hope that was brutal enough.
Reply:GOOD


- an essence of days gone by


- time passes but inside we remain the same


- till the "rubber band" snaps


- and we return from whence we came
Reply:I think its very good actually:-)
Reply:The only line I stumbled on was the "boots." Overall, this is good. A vaporous image of a strange place. Well done. TD
Reply:that is great!!!!
Reply:That's REALLY good! Ru a poet??


Ur awesome!!!! Did u just make it up? ur good!!!!