Donation for wedding favor?

Would you be offended or think it was tacky if as a wedding favor, the couple donated money to a charity in honor of their guests? This particular charity is one near and dear to my heart (a mission organization in Peru that I have been on three trips with), and many of our guests will have been there as well.





We were thinking of printing something like, "We have made a donation in honor of our guests to XXX. Please plant the paper flower in your yard. Wherever you plant it wildflowers will grow, reminding you of the seeds that were planted today, both here as we made our vows and across the globe in Peru. Thank you for being a part of our special day." Then we would have our name and the date. The flower on the front of the card would be made out of special seed paper.





My mom says this is tacky. Thoughts?

Donation for wedding favor?
I love the idea of this. BUT I just want to be sure that you know this should be a neutral chairty that wont offend anyone. It sounds as if it is, but really make sure first. Think honestly about this foundation, would any of their work be construed by someone in a negative light? If so choose something else.





I cant tell you how angry I would be if someone donated money in my honor to a charity that I didnt agree with. It would just infuriate me to even be associated with it in thought. So keep this in mind.
Reply:Are you asking the guests for the donation money or are you paying for it? If you are paying for it, there's nothing tacky about it. At least you can avoid giving tasteless "favors" from your wedding that way. As far as asking guests to make donations, you can put it in the invitation that the couple requests donations be made to "such and such" charity in lieu of gifts.
Reply:I think it's very nice, not to mention, the guests still get to take home the flower paper for their gardens. I like that better than a lot of the favors i have received over the years!!
Reply:I love the idea! My friend did this for her shower, and it was great. You only end up throwing out the favor, anyway. The only thing I would change is the planting of the flower "in your yard." I would just leave that out. Just say "Please plant the paper flower." Some people may get deffensive when told where to plant it. (Plus, if wildflowers grow as a result, they may not want them in their yard)
Reply:I guess it would be diffrent for everyone but you are giving seeds to them so that is a favor you are giving them. well good luck enjoy.
Reply:I think it's appropriate because as you said, it is a matter that you care about deeply. A good gift is at least in part a reflection or you and your values.
Reply:Sounds EXCELLENT! Unselfish and what a long lasting memory for all! TRULY. I often wonder HOW MANY poeple still have wedding favors from years past...all of them? some? eaten already? But they will never forget THIS wedding favor! Mom is probably just concerned due to it's not 'ettiquette' but ettiquette is forever changing, and you may just have given new brides a wonderful new idea. Congratulations!
Reply:Most favors are a waste %26amp; in up in the trash before the couple arrives at their honeymoon.





I think you have the right idea.





If you aren't printing the cards yourself, try on-line vista print. Their business cards would work perfectly for this, some are free, pay for postage; you can customize the cards to your liking.
Reply:I think this is the sweetest and most thoughtful idea I have ever heard of !!!!!!





I help plan weddings and I plan/host all kinds of Showers and I love this idea and would like to borrow the idea from you for future events I plan.





I think your guests would be equally as grateful to receive these flower seeds to plant to remind them of the donation that you have made to help this organization...especially since they have been associated with it and will know the need there and how well the money will be appreciated to them.





I salute you and clap for your thoughtfulness !!! I wish there were more people like you in the world !!!


CONGRATULATIONS AND GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!
Reply:[EDIT: If you do not announce it nor mention it on cards, then aren't you just giving an anonymous donation anyhow? And in that case, it would be fine. Don't make it "in honor of" your guests or "in lieu of favors"-- that's where the etiquette problem comes in. But that's not what you were talking about when you first asked this question-- you were talking about printing up little (tacky) cards announcing where you had donated money. ]





It is vulgar to announce where you have donated money, and it is a snub to your guests to tell them you re-directed their favor.





It is not polite to redirect a gift (the favor) before it was even given, and then tell your guests "Oh, I was going to give you a wedding favor but instead I donated to xxxxxx."





I know it is a really popular trend lately, and it certainly is a great fundraising gimmick for the charities, but it is actually poor etiquette.





If you wish to donate to charity, go ahead and make your lovely donation QUIETLY. Do NOT connect it to the concept of wedding favors.





Favors are not necessary anyhow. You can skip them entirely.





Below I am going to attach an article from Miss Manners who discusses this issue as well-- it is one of the myths:





Myth Manners





Sunday, February 1, 2004





When Miss Manners yanked etiquette back into the American consciousness a quarter of a century ago, she thought she was dictating to clean slates. A generation that had rejected courteous behavior with the devastating and high-minded argument that it was unnatural had produced a subsequent generation innocent of its rules.





Yet certain notions of etiquette have such a powerful hold as to survive. Unfortunately, they all happen to be wrong. Nevertheless, even people with no discernible manners cling to them and are outraged if others do not.





Here is an incomplete list of persistent etiquette myths:





- That wives who have used their husbands' names may no longer do so when they are widows.





- That invitations don't need to be answered unless there is a specific request to that effect, and preferably a stamped card and envelope with which to reply.





- That it is rude to invite a single person anywhere without the option of bringing along a date.





- That all announcements and invitations concerning milestones in the hosts' lives require the recipient to send a present -- except for a death, which requires sending the bereaved a check.





- That it is the obligation of people who expect presents to make known what they want.





- That the monetary value of a wedding present must equal the amount spent on the guest's entertainment at the wedding reception.





- That a bride has a year in which to thank people for sending wedding presents. Or that she cannot begin to thank people until after the wedding.





- That purchasing a greeting card is more thoughtful than writing a letter.





- That formal letters should be written on small, fold-over cards known as "informals."





- That a donation to charity counts as a present if you tell people you have given it in their name.





- That it is generous to direct other people to give money to charity in your name, using funds you would otherwise expect them to spend on you.





There is not a word of truth in any of this.
Reply:I think its a great idea. Its not tacky at all, its very generous. I want to make a donation either to make a wish or breast cancer. Its very admirable to think of others in need. Good luck! Oh and I love the wild flower idea. So every year they bloom your guests can be reminded of your thankfulness!! :)
Reply:I think that is a great idea! not tacky at all...and if this is something that is very close to your heart and toehr s there then they all will love the idea.......if you think about, nobody actually uses the wedding favors. they norally end up int he hands of the children or thrown away.





I think you should do the doantion and maybe throw in a piece of candy or two.....a little something for them as well as the satisfaction of donating to a good cause........
Reply:While I don't see this as tacky, I personally don't care for this idea. I think making charitable donations should be a private activity that is not announced. If you and your fiance would like to make a charitable donation, go ahead and do so in private. But I think your donation should be separate from your wedding. You can still provide flower seeds as your favor if you'd like.
Reply:I actually think that is a great idea. How often to wedding favors go in the garbage, that is not at all tacky. Then the money is going to use and they will have the seeds to plant as a reminder of your special charity.
Reply:I actually like the idea....how is charity tacky? Ask her would she say the same thing if you were giving it to breast cancer research or to aid childhood cancer awareness?





I think this is a great idea, and it is your speacial day..do what you want.